Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood,” said Marie Curie. new born child knows no fear. As the child grows, it starts to experience fear at one stage or another. Parents and others knowingly or unknowingly teach fear too. Then those fears run through life. Only very few people learn to control or overcome their fears and worries. Fears and worries are the main obstacles to realize your dreams. Little fear may keep the person in good standing. It acts like a brake in a vehicle. But after a certain point, say unlimited or uncontrolled fear, does more harm than any good. Let me explain with an example.
You want to undertake some new activity or project (or anything) for your dream. Now you have a fear of failure. Everyone around you also tells you, why and how it is risky. You are confused. I classify that initial fear as little fear. If that little fear makes you to devise more risk management strategies and contingent plans, that little fear has done some good to you. On the other hand, if you imagine too much and finally abandon the project or idea, then that type of fear is unlimited or uncontrolled fear. You abandoned the project only to learn later on that some one else carried out the very same idea(s) very successfully and earned fame and money.
In a race, if you fall, it is not a failure; but if you fail to get up and continue to run then that is a real failure. In this example, thinking of possibility of a fall is a little fear; that’s okay. Keep your risk management and contingent plans ready. But if you avoid the race itself for the fear (or possible occurrence) of falling, then that is what I call unlimited or uncontrolled fear.
“Life is a series of experiments,” said Emerson, “the more you make the better” Each failure is a trial in an experiment and opportunity for growth.
Little fear makes you more conscious of things and relationships; unlimited fear hurts your own happiness and relationships.
Little fear makes you to be more careful and alert whereas unlimited fear makes you dull and inactive.
Little fear makes you dynamic but unlimited fear makes you static.
Know your fears and know why you fear.
What is your fear?
Here are some of common fears:
Fear of failure
Fear of hunger
Fear of having no shelter
Fear of going broke
Fear of losing the job
Fear of being rejected by the loved one
Fear of not belonging
Fear of death
What is your fear? Write it down to control it.
Here are some recommendations to handle your fear.
1. Write your FEAR and WORRIES on the paper
2. Analyze the reason for your fear. Dig deep (ask questions to yourself) till you find out the root cause. Now write the reasons for your fear
3. What could be the possible alternative out come? What could be the worst possible situation that could happen to you (LITTLE FEAR). Now write your little fear also.
4. Recall your DREAM or GOAL. Write that also on the paper.
5. Now phrase a question like this: How to achieve my dream or goal taking into account the little fear I imagined? Again put this in writing. Now strike out previous steps. In other words, you mentally erased all your FEARS and Worries. This is symbolic. Just imagine. Only thing which remains without striking is your rephrased question asking for a solution to achieve your dream or goal. E.g the question at this stage could be something like this: How to find another job if my company announces layoff, while my family and I continue to maintain our present life style?
6. Think for some time. If you get the answer it is ok; if you don’t get the answer, it is also ok.
Up to now what have you achieved?
You have effectively stopped the excuses for inaction. No longer, fear or worry hunts you. You analyzed it well and instructed your subconscious mind to find the required resources for your dream or goal. Trust your subconscious mind and entrust everything to it and continue with your routine for the time being. Sooner or later in your mail box (= conscious mind), you will find a reply letter for your question. You will be thrilled. That will be an eureka moment. Some of the great achievers and scientists have followed this route and found successes.
Fear is a state of mind. Faith replaces fear. Have faith in yourself; and in your ability to let things go. When fear strikes, act positively. Lack of action (e.g lack of above exercise) increases the fear. Get yourself surrounded by inspiring people and trust their words. Generate hope for yourself. Replace your fear with hope.
Before concluding, let me quote a story I read some time ago. It is a story about rope and snake.
A man is walking through a forest on a dark rainy night. He steps on a piece of rope. He mentally determines that he has stepped on a venomous cobra. Now his mind creates all kinds of fears in a moment. He imagines that the venomous cobra is going to strike him any moment. He will die and no one will find his body until next morning. Suddenly there is a lightning strike. with that light, he sees the “cobra”- which is nothing more than a piece of old rope.
The mind, because of fear, created a snake; the rope had always been a rope, before and after the lightning. Are you equipped to differentiate between the fear of the unknown and the knowledge of truth?
Learn from your own and others mistakes; watch your own words, thoughts and actions.
Why?
For overcoming the fears and worries, you should have right thoughts, right words and right actions. Based on those, you attract right people and circumstances into your life. Then what? Fire the fear. Move forward in your life.
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